Last year I played a multi-generational game of grand strategy Crusader Kings 2 using the A Game of Thrones mod, which transforms the historical medieval setting of CK2 into the continent of Westeros from George R.R. Martin's A Song of Ice and Fire novels (and the HBO series). My goal was to play as the most minor of lords and experience the conflict and drama of Westeros from the ground floor. Game of Checkers will run on Sundays for ten weeks.
Daisy Dukes it Out
Previously, on Game of Checkers: Wars, wars, wars. Some wars in the greater world, several concurrent ones for control of The Vale, and a number of wars at home for Lady Daisy of The Fingers, specifically over the tiny island called The Paps, which you'd think was a place of major significance. It's not. It's just a stupid rock, and it's no longer my stupid rock, having been captured and held by The Reach.
I'm currently defending the rest of my holdings three different factions who are all trying to install a new ruler of The Vale, which recently claimed independence from The Iron Throne. I hire sellswords every time someone invades, then fire the mercs once we've driven off the attackers. Twice we're on the verge of defeat and are only saved by a passing army supporting the current Lord Paramount. The whole thing is incredible tiresome and frustrating, and seems without end.
Having been saved repeatedly by my liege’s army, I decide I owe him one (or two) and start following his forces around. I realize there’s a good chance my lands may wind up being invaded while my army is away, but there’s nothing I can do without the all those loyal Valemen anyway. We march to the Eyrie, 5,000 strong, to break the siege against an equal force from Crab’s Shore. I even capture one of the Crabsmen, but he turns out to be a very poor Lord who can’t afford much in the way of ransom. So you know what I do? I execute him on the spot. I think all this war is starting to rub off on me. I'm feeling pretty heartless.
The Iron Throne, meanwhile, decides it's a good time to reclaim The Vale, and since we're all busy killing each other, they're probably right. 45,000 soldiers have arrived in Sunset Keep, one of my holdings, which has become the defacto landing point when anyone wants to invade. Over the past fifteen years, the Iron Thone has swapped royal butts three or four times, and the current queen has just died. King Addison, great-grandson of Robert Baratheon, takes over.
In less violent news, my son eldest son Nobbrick gets married to his betrothed, a woman named Unella, not that either of them had a choice. My son Needrick gets married as well, and his wife immediately produces a child.
I’m invited to join the rest of the rebels in this war against The Vale's current leadership. Casting an eye over the burning wreckage of most of the country, I decide to accept. Under the various Lord Paramounts we've had, this place has seen two decades of war. Time for new management.
I join my few remaining troops with the 11,000 strong Eastweald Army of Ser Gwayne and start slaughtering the same Valemen who bailed me out repeatedly not long ago. Within a few months, we’re sacking the Eyrie itself, which feels very strange after several generations spent loyally serving it. The war goes on.
At age 85, Daenerys Targaryen dies, and Bran Stark dies of severe stress at the age of 76. They were, I think, the only two characters from the books who were still around. The war goes on.
Nobbrick and his wife have a son. The war goes on.
Nobbrick has another son. Needrick’s wife dies. The war goes on.
Daisy turns 40. There have been constant wars in The Vale since she was 15 years old. Finally, finally, The Crab’s Shore War for the claim on The Vale ends. Lady Sarya, whoever she is, is now Lord Paramount at age 36, and shortly thereafter becomes Queen of Mountain and Vale.
A Piece of Peace
Peace settles into The Vale, and I'm a little astonished that I've managed to keep all of my holdings through that nightmare (except for The Paps, of course). I take a breath, and then get to work. I change the succession laws back to primogeniture, so my firstborn son Nobbrick will inherit all my titles, because this elective succession thing has just been one huge headache. I hold a feast, attend a tourney, and witness a few weddings. I even have a fling with a knight from my court, Ser Walace. Everyone seems to have a decent opinion of Daisy: all her children, her entire council, and the new Queen. It's an odd feeling.
Some excellent news follows. It turns out my Master of Coin has been stealing gold, apparently for years. I empty his pockets and find I now have enough money—finally—to build a real city on my lands! It'll be a new holding and a better tax base than anything else I've got.
King Addison of the Iron Throne drops dead. This usually signals a massive war as everyone disputes the claim of the heir, in this case, Queen Cerenna Falwell. For the life of me, I cannot even track down who she’s related to that might give her a line to inherit. Neither can anyone else, apparently: she’s quickly imprisoned and a new King is named, Maric, another great-grandson of Robert Baratheon.
I decide to give my three sons landed titles so they can be my vassals. To Nomordrick, the youngest of my sons, I give Pebble. I give Needrick Sunset Keep. And, I give the newly built Wycliffe City to my heir, Nobbrick. I’d like to give something to my daughter Nondonna as well, but apparently the laws won’t allow it, so I decide to marry her off to Lord Paramount Steffon of The Reach. He lives on The Paps, so at least she’ll be close by. As long as some of my DNA is on that island, I guess it's not a complete loss.
The important thing is, I’m back sitting in Scarle Keep in Wycliffe, where this whole thing started with my great-grandfather Ninedrick, and my pleasant and agreeable children are spread out over the rest of The Fingers. Everything seems to have been tied up nicely!
And that’s when the Vale once again goes to war. It's Queen of the Vale versus Lord Steffon, my brand new son-in-law. And it's a war over The Paps. Again. It's a bit awkward in that I'm supporting my queen against my daughter's husband, and a bit scary in that The Iron Throne is on Steffon’s side.
This could get ugly.
Middlefinger
There are currently 65,000 Iron Throne soldiers spread out over The Vale, though we're winning most of the battles by feeding on smaller detachments and dashing away from the larger ones. When everything finally settles down again, what's the final result? The Vale is still independent, and The Reach still retains The Paps. Again, several years of bloodshed have changed absolutely nothing.
And just when I thought I was done with the Littlefinger family, having outlived Petyr Baelish and having sent his son to serve on The Night's Watch, my Spymaster drops by with some news. Petyr's grandson, Yohn Baelish, is investigating my legitimacy. Will I never be free of these Middlefingers? There's some worse news attached to this: my own husband, Pearse Waters, is backing this plot.
That's it. I've had enough. I'm not taking this news with a polite smile and a dose of diplomacy. I decide to imprison my husband, but he somehow slips out of the castle before my guards can catch him. Jerk. Annoyed, I decide to go a step further with this third-generation Littlefinger. I'm just going to straight-up assassinate him.
Not only does the attempt fail, but Littlefinger finds out it was me. He blabs about it, naturally, to my Queen. The Queen's response? She arrests me and throws me in prison. Well! That didn't go the way I'd hoped.
Another King arrives on the Iron Throne, Bryenn III, the great-great grandson of Robert. He immediately declares war on The Vale to try to bring it back under his control along with all the other kingdoms. Maybe they'll oust my Queen before she can put me on trial? Or, maybe not. The Iron Throne begins their invasion by sacking Sunset Keep, naturally, then send thousands more soldiers to Wycliffe and begin sacking that.
I am given a trial and await the verdict. It is, shall we say, a harsh one.
Daisy is found guilty. Then she’s executed.
Damn those Littlefingers.
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